if you want something very, very badly, let it go free. if it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. if it doesn’t, it was never yours to begin with.
When you can’t have what you want, it’s time to start wanting what you have.
—Kathleen A. Sutton
- So far the coldest day of the season.
- I pulled out a cardigan and then I put it back when I realized I couldn’t rock a t-shirt with it to work.
- Stopped caring about the time and Tiger took me all the way to work with conversation. Today’s his birthday. What a start.
- Train was 30 minutes late. How the fuck even…..
- Got to work 25 minutes late and still beat my boss *unf-unf-unf*
- Put to test my new goal: working diligently on everything I possibly can until I look up at the clock and realized 9 fucking miserable hours of my life have deteriorated away into a puddle of disappointment and mediocrity. But no worries, two weeks from now it’ll reincarnate or manifest or whatever the fuck you wanna call it - into a $700 and some change paystub.
- I think I’ll do shots in a few minutes. And make a grilled cheese.
- Boogie’s dilemmas made me swing my legs with devilish delight.
- The boss didn’t say much to me today. *looks her up and down*
- I walked across campus to drop something off to this woman in the Communications building. I told her that her voice gave me energy. It was like an instant audio espresso. She laughed when I told her and her eyes lit up. Her mouth, when she laughed, reminded me of Rachelle Ferrell. Huge. Wide. Loud. Effective.
- It was cold today. Cold today.
- I folded my hands, yawned, and closed my eyes for about ten minutes between #11 and #12. I opened my eyes and thought someone was watching me.
- Regarding #4, it looked like a bunch of slave kids, greedy business men, and gluttonous junkies were all trying to squeeze into this 2 car train. It took 5 minutes for it to close its doors because of legs, backpacks, and oversized ponytails hanging out of the doors. (NOTE: If a train or bus is 30 minutes late, no matter how late you are, you’re late nonetheless. Waitchoass for the one behind it.)
- Regarding #9 - the temp did though. 20 minutes before it was time to leave. In my head she twisted her ankle while walking out the door, flipped over the railing outside the building, and snapped her neck and anything else vertebrae related on the fallout shelter below. Dusty bitch ass cunt fucka.
- I’m about to make myself a cup of chai. But some kind of way fuse #7 into it to make this a REAL Friday night.
- I really really really wanna cuddle with someone but I can’t bring myself to unlock my door for some bullshit like that. That deadbolt is on and more secure than a black purse in an all-white elevator. B’leedatshit.
- If it wasn’t for the money, I would’ve said NO to this entire weekend.
- I need to do laundry. God I hate this part.
- I need a haircut. Playing my beard is never beneficial.
- (fell asleep again while typing this list) But now “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS” is banging in my head….
Addendum to #9
- orange and brown throw pillows
- pumpkin scented candles
- another carton of chai
- very vanilla soy milk
- a throw that could make me nut
- a white shag aerial rug
- floor pillows
- heavy ivory drapes
- new towels
- Azzaro Chrome
- swiffer wet jet
- tropical skittles
- a car
- a reservation at the potomac mills springhill suites from oct. 13-15
- maroon, orange, navy, white, hunter/kelly
- dress shoes
- comfortable being alone
- Sean Jones
- Little Dragon
- Kim Burrell (I think)