Sugar Milk

real quick

• i’m sexiest with my clothes on.
• got comfortable on the couch, hands ended up smelling homeless.
• i’ve been wanting to wear a tie all week. weather said no
• i’m going to NY on Saturday. shit bout ta get real.
• i haven’t had a good hug in awhile.

one that counts.

:qws:

Transit stanzas

I had a dream just now that there was a deeper bass line to Flying Lotus’ “Getting There” and it sent chills to my core.

I had on headphones so the chills were almost like the chills I get from the warm/cool combination I feel when someone is licking in my ear.

And before I knew it I was dozing. On the bus stop. And I’d stopped breathing. In ecstasy. And then the music pulled me. Showed me that this cuntshitass bus hadn’t showed yet.

I hate this whore of a bus.

When Men (me) Use Lotion As Lube

 When Men Use Lotion as Lube

1. it feels amazing when you’re beating it

2. you can’t tell what’s nut and what’s lotion afterwards

3. you clean off 

4. it itches

5. it really itches

6. you’re in public but you can’t scratch

7. you get home and you figure out the best way to scratch the hell out of the itch

8. after 20 minutes of scratching, yes, you gave yourself herpes.

It’s horrific. Then the healing begins which is like, wow - the skin of my dick has dandruff like a bitch. It turns all flaky. And essentially you’re too embarrassed to get head from anyone because your dick looks like it got stung by a bee, ran out into traffic, and didn’t survive.

7.19

What a day:

My body is an asshole:

• “Oh hey - you get off work at 5p, it’s 4:56p. LET’S GO POO!”
• “Man we totally got wasted last night! Didn’t get to sleep til 3a! SINCE IT’S 6:38A LET’S WAKE ALL THE WAY THE FUCK UP AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I mean after all, it’s Saturday.”
• “Check it out - your stop is coming up! LET’S TAKE A FUCKING SNOOZE!” 

Back in picture mode:

• Update FB marketing.
• Oh the storm that we had this afternoon….(required sex) (wait til you see the pics)
• doing my first same sex wedding tomorrow.

And this is why I put my phone on silent and ignore anyone with a fucking pulse

• The people that aren’t following me, are the ones that visit my space the most.
• I’m starting to hate relationships and any variation thereof.
• Life on this avenue has been like listening to syndicated radio. I can’t fucking stand this shit. The callers. The opinions. The know-it-alls. And that’s why I drive in silence.

SUCCESS!!

• Guess whose credit card balance is on that low-low.
• And who is finishing a book tonight.
• And throwing out the invisibles, ignored, and unnecessaries
• And about to smash a DiGiorno…

Question for the general public:
How do u handle a crush?

4 Dreams of 5.15

1. I went with Bobby Christina to a doctor’s appointment. It was snowy outside. We were waiting for some kind of results. They came back “good”. We walked out to the car. It was a white Range Rover in a huge empty parking lot covered in slushy snow. Inside was Whitney Houston, celebrating the “good” results with us. The family started asking me why I was so emotional. That’s when, somehow, it was revealed to me that it was one week before Whitney Houston’s death.

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Penis Available between 8am and 5pm

I hate the fact that I’m more sexually charged, driven, motivated whatever - while I’m at work. It’s like while I’m at my desk that’s the time I’m thinking about dick, or sex, or beaters, or porn, or buicks, or grand marquis, or baby oil gel, or wet or whatever. 

But as soon as 5:00 hits….

Don’t come texting my phone telling me what you wanna do to me, how you wanna do it, where we can do it, when you’re available, when we’re going to date, etc. etc. Bitch it’s after 5:00….the only thing you need to be texting me is where the liquor is and how much I can get for one Abraham Lincoln-branded greenback.

Thanks.