Yesterday, I spent 60 dollars on groceries,
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between my two jobs,
only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks
and slept like a rock.
Flossed in the morning,
locked my door,
and remembered to buy eggs.
My mother is proud of me.
It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course.
She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale”
with, ”Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs”
But she is proud.
See, she remembers what came before this.
The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles,
how I would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks.
She thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide.
These were the bad days.
My life was a gift that I wanted to return.
My head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs.
Depression, is a good lover.
So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you.
And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world,
That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting.
It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created.
Today, I slept in until 10,
cleaned every dish I own,
fought with the bank,
took care of paperwork.
You and I might have different definitions of adulthood.
I don’t work for salary, I didn’t graduate from college,
but I don’t speak for others anymore,
and I don’t regret anything I can’t genuinely apologize for.
And my mother is proud of me.
I burned down a house of depression,
I painted over murals of greyscale,
and it was hard to rewrite my life into one I wanted to live
But today, I want to live.
I didn’t salivate over sharp knives,
or envy the boy who tossed himself off the Brooklyn bridge.
I just cleaned my bathroom,
did the laundry,
called my brother.
Told him, “it was a good day.

Kait Rokowski, A Good Day (via jesusfuckmechrist)
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  • #good day #blessed #repost #reblog #necessary #life #minimalism
  • 6 months ago
  • 200731

Nothing is more useful than silence

Menander
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  • #silence #necessary #quote #Menander
  • 1 year ago
  • 6
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  • #cry #poster #phoster #necessary
  • 2 years ago
  • 3
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  • #alcohol #drunk #frankie #necessary #preci #tipsy #original photography #vodka
  • 2 years ago
  • 7

When you can’t have what you want, it’s time to start wanting what you have.

Kathleen A. Sutton
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  • #quote #Kathleen A Sutton #wants #desires #necessary
  • 2 years ago

This took me back to junior high.
almost stabbed a kid once.
dropped the F bomb in the middle of test instead.
took me three years to do it.
i just snapped.
really loud.

"FUCK" saved that boy’s life. 
probably my own too (giggle) 

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  • #video #bullying #humanity #necessary #emotional
  • 2 years ago
  • 1
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  • #necessary #pause #selah
  • 2 years ago
  • 39

Fold back my pages
and bookmark the parts you love.
Don’t stop reading me.

Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott)
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  • #poetry #love #necessary #Tyler Knott
  • 2 years ago
  • 2913
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  • #Pariah #movie #powerful #broken #open #necessary #tears
  • 2 years ago
  • 977

I need for someone to tell me that I’m not broken. I know it will happen in God’s time and I by far am NOT questioning his methods, timing or guidance …. I simply need to know that I’m not broken.

Identity Concealed 
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  • #broken #God #faith #necessary
  • 2 years ago
  • 2
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  • #black and white #art #photography #nude #truth #raw #honest #necessary
  • 2 years ago
  • 160

Freedom Day

Max Roach
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  • #necessary #jazz #Max Roach #Freedom
  • 2 years ago
  • 14
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  • #self-worth #currently #necessary #Thoughts
  • 2 years ago
  • 131
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