- Me: I give great hugs. They're* churchy
- Mr. Beatty: Churcy hugs seem feigned to me.
- Me: how so?
- Mr. Beatty: they're always like...fake huggy. Like...something's not right. I want hug. Like a real hug.
- Me: that's not churchy, those are religious hugs. Churchy hugs you get from tent revivals along dirt roads. The kind that feel like either a massage or like all of earlier today is melting.....by way of the Holy Spirit. Religious hugs have hats with matching suit-dresses and caked on make up. Churchy hugs have fans from nearby funeral homes and floral print dresses that could easily pass for housecoats. Religious hugs pop gum while churchy hugs discreetly pass you pieces of butterscotch to hold you over til the benediction. There's a difference. I like to think I give churchy hugs. I don't wanna put my arms around no maw'fucka if I'm going to be fake about it. Don't fake touch me cuz you might get your fuckin' fake on me. When I hug it's because I wanna really greet you, feel you, or fix you.