Listening: Santa Monica sirens are like the worst things ever. But Santa Monica is sooo incredibly nice. It gives me almost this Miami feel but I don’t think I’m entitled to make such a comparison because I’ve never been to Miami. And the Minimalist Jukebox Concert was dope. I hadn’t listened to the “Stay On It” by Julius Eastman in entirety until tonight. I’ll have to revisit it at home soon. Different Trains, quite similarly to Music for 18 Musicians, made me cry when it came to an end.
you know what’s weird. i talk about when i cry as often as i possibly can because i don’t feel like it happens often enough. not saying i wish i was overly sensitive or over-emotional. but sometimes i feel a really good release could do me some good. but anyway….
I left the concert early because my east coast body wasn’t ready for a 3 hour west coast classical showcase.
Watching: sunsets on the pier, HBO Series “Looking”, street performers, nude go-go boys leaning against poles, franksandbeanz making moves on a mechanical bull while completely intoxicated, and palm trees. i swear that was
Doing: texting a different person each day to try to figure out how to smoothly enjoy the trip. i swear this was the biggest inconvenience ever. in retrospect i realized i’d stayed at a different apartment every night while in L.A. we’ve been discussing a return in the near future just to redeem how weird and fucked up this trip was.
Eating: flirting with the girl Maggie at Jersey Mike’s as she hands me a peach tea, 800° Degrees margarita pizza with MEAT. I like my pizza meaty. It’s sexy. The Pie Hole macaroni and cheese pie with $7 watermelon juice; In & Out was mandatory and cornbread battered fried chicken was the best leftovers ever.
Drinking: sober. except for one day. completely sober. girl bye.
Wearing: shorts, t-shirts, and my first pair of new shoes in over a year.
Feeling: as mentioned, I was ready to come home when Day 2 arrived, but i can’t really say that was homesick. I just wish I felt more prepared for this trip.
Weather: I was in southern california — you tell me what the weather was like. and did you read what i was wearing?
Wanting: to go back to los angeles to do the trip all over again the way I’d really want to do it. making cameos instead of being the overnight “oh hai”.
Needing: los angeles traffic CAROL!
Thinking: about how there really were more positive ups than there were inconvenient downs. but the trip did have an unnecessary amount of anxiety attached to it. from beginning to end. the flights were nice though.
it’s too monday for all this.
So here’s the past 90 days.
and a soundtrack to go with the whole thing.
"i look upon ever day to be lost, in which i do not make a new acquaintance." Samuel Johnson
"everywhere is nowhere. when a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances, but no friends.
Jesus be a scale.
there’s something incredible about walking up to my door as the last movement of this piece quiets down to a meditative shuttup
I made the mistake
of boasting about my small circle of friends
not realizing that none
of these dots
so I’m in the center
and I can’t tell where the closeness is
because even with these titled whatevers
it’s easy as shit
to still find myself