Listening: my autumn playlist. these jazz standards are dope but i swear the classical pieces make the leaves fall even more graceful.
Watching: Heartbeats. But I’m not going to finish it. I keep imagining myself cuddled up with a blanket and cup of my chai with the windows completely open and watching this film. But every time I tell myself to make a cup of chai, I’m too full to enjoy it. Thanksgiving has been good to me and I swear I’ve been stuffed for the past three days.
Doing: Preparing for the 3 month hiatus. December - February. Spring and Autumn memoir. Don’t you forget it.
Drinking: Hot Cinnamon spice tea. I want one of those tea kettles that sit on tea lights. I don’t need it though.
Wearing: a black t-shirt. yup.
Feeling: You know - last night I pulled out my journal from when I was a senior in high school and read an entire entry on contentment and being happy with what I have. Being completely satisfied with going without and finding happiness in experiences instead of in the tangible. It was a bit overwhelming to see that even 13 years ago - I was talmbout this stuff.
I guess some things never change.
Weather: Overcast - 30°F and we’re supposed to go go-carting today.
Wanting: $2000 worth of electronics and some quiet.
Needing: Just the quiet.
Thinking: About the Sound of Noise, the iPad, the music, this day’s events, and the fact that my entire immediate family was completely split up on Thanksgiving.
Enjoying: what I’m listening to and what I’m drinking.
Artist: Chilly Gonzales
Album: Solo Piano
Song: Gentle Threat
from my autumn playlist
and they say writer’s block is no excuse
well mister james i’m here to tell you —
it’s not that i said that i wouldn’t
and it’s not that i absolutely can’t
but my excuse was laid out in that opening line
couldn’t lower the brim of my hat low enough
so the 27th day of october still managed
to coax my cornea and cast spells and voodoo type witchcraft
to bring forth the latency of my crow’s feet.
and we walked slow
and joseph tate
is a nasty bitch
it’s all about letting go
no answer is an answer
i just wish mister jones knew how much more intimate
his message could be
if he muted his trumpet
at least i wrote something today.
even if you don’t know what i’m talking about
and i think i am that man
that will change his entire coursenroute
just to watch
but i’ll bitch about being watched all day.
i just wanna see u.
joseph tate is a nasty bitch
and i wanna find out why.
Listening: So I worked really hard on an Autumn Playlist yesterday and now i’m listening to the electronica portion of it. Oh and my windows are still open so I’m also listening to the whirring echo of I-83 down below. Yeah it’s a cloud high regular until we have a high of 40°.
Reading: old posts to remind myself of how I truly define “relationship”
Doing: about to hop in the shower and freshen up for this outing happening tonight. I’m going to see Bad Grandpa. Not my first choice by any means. Bad Grandpa is a movie I’d wait to see on Netflix on an extremely bored day off from work. Not something I’d pay $12 to see on fucking opening night. I’ll redeem myself next week on my day off by going to see 12 Years a Slave or Gravity or Carrie or some shit like that.
Eating: thinking about the oreo cheesecake cups I just saw. I’m tasting them in my imagination otherwise I ain’t eating a damn thing.
Drinking: shit. I forgot to get a 5-hour energy. because between now and the theater house, I’m pretty sure sleep is going to start massaging my shoulders and tell me it’s okay…..everything will be okay; everything is okay.
Wearing: grey & navy boxer briefs. the windows are open….
Feeling: pensive. to say the least. but I got that good haircut tonight tho’.
Weather: Partly cloudy skies, dark, currently 52°. All of my windows are open and I think my window fan is trying to drop a hint. The temperature setting caused it to cut off automatically because of how chilly it is.
I was walking around today sweating, warm, uncomfortably warm. I walked past people who were bundled in scarves, tarps (yeah those), burlap, gloves, and nigga hats. *sigh* they all made me hotter as I saw each of them.
Wanting: my futon. and to see something other than Bad Grandpa.
Needing: to act like I have $3 in my bank account. instead of this shit that looks like a tax refund. #blessed
Thinking: …about what I’m reading.
Enjoying: this cold. this cold. this cold. and this playlist. It’s absolutely delicious.
- september burnt brown humidity
- playing cards in my underwear with pride & loneliness at the kitchen table.
- you have something to say? i don’t.
- overtime lotion overtime.
- autumn backlog - da fuck u doing here?
- love on[c]e and mean it..
- taste my butter.
- burnt brown humidity
- screaming at 94 year olds across the 28th street bridge. she hears love.
- withered spinach
- cyclical battles - should be done nude.
- vulnerability will make me a victor.
- spiral bound journals *lick my lips*
i have no [found] voice.
So I have this going on….